My Life Would Suck Without You
by Princess-N-xoxo
Summary: Rachel realises that Finn is all wrong for her when she hears that a guy from her past is back. St. Berry


**My Life Would Suck Without You**

**AN: Enjoy This is how I would like events to go sort of, really I just want Finchel to end and St Berry to be back on.**

I had overheard Kurt and Mercedes talking about the return of Jesse St. James, this time he wasn't back for me but back to coach our rival team Vocal Adrenaline. I wasn't sure how I felt about that but I knew I needed to see him; there was something about Jesse that always drew me back to him. I arrived at Carmel just before they were due to start to talk with Jesse. This bought back old memories of the last time I snuck into Carmel's auditorium when we were spying and when I found my mother, most of the kids were already there talking quietly in small groups.

"Jesse" I whispered as I approached the coach's desk

"Rachel?" he asked "What are you doing here this is a closed rehearsal"

"Uh I don't know I just had to…" I trailed off not really sure to why I was here "Sorry I'll just be going" I headed back out the way I came

"Rach wait, we can talk just let me get these guys started" he called before I reached the door "Everyone on stage now! Begin the warm up routine" Jesse barked at them, out of fear they all scurried onto the stage and began singing scales while doing star jumps.

"They're terrified of you" I stated

"I learnt that fear helps when you're a coach. Now Rachel why did you come?" he asked again

"Jesse I don't even know, all I know is that I overheard Kurt and Mercedes talking about your return and I just felt like I needed to see you" I tried to explain

"You chose Finn remember you shouldn't have to see me just because I'm back or did you two end things?" I thought I saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes

"No he actually proposed to me" I showed him the ring the was on my left ring finger

"Are you happy?" he asked sincerely

"I use to be happy but lately I don't think I am, he's trying to get me to move to California" I admitted quietly

"Wade keep up with the others!" Jesse shouted before turning his attention back to me "Finn isn't the guy for you, your Broadway bound and he is destined to stay in Lima forever"

"But I love him!" I threw my hands in the air

"You also love Broadway but I highly doubt you're going to marry it. There are lots of different types of love" his eyes scanned over Vocal Adrenaline looking for the slightest weakness. "Are you in love with him?"

"Not anymore" I sighed

"Then you know what you have to do" Jesse told me, I nodded and left him to coach his team

I drove back to Lima and went to see Finn straight away; I couldn't wait any longer to tell Finn it just didn't seem right, in my heart I knew that Finn wasn't the one. He was by the bleachers, football practice had just finished in the distance I could see the cheerio's finishing their practice.

"Hey Rachel, have you decided to come to California instead of New York yet?" he greeted me, when he tried to give me a kiss I turned away

"Finn I came here to tell you that I can't marry you" I said deciding to just come out and say it

"What why because I want to go to California?" he asked "That's so selfish of you, marriage is a partnership and you always want everything to be about you"

"No I'm going to New York and will be on Broadway. If marriage is a partnership then why should I have to give up my dreams for you? I can't marry you because I'm not in love with you, I love you probably always will but it's not you who I feel a connection to" I admitted, it was Jesse who I felt connected to. It probably wouldn't work anyway long distance never does.

"But Rachel I love you!" he cried

"I'm sorry Finn but I just can't" I said letting a single tear fall from my eye

"Is it because of Jesse? I heard Kurt saying that he was back" Finn asked suddenly becoming angry

"I don't know maybe" I replied honestly

"You can't go back to him he threw eggs at you!" he cried outraged

"Yeah well you lie about your feelings for me to get some music scholarship, lie about sleeping with Santana, leave me in a Christmas tree lot, feed me meat, give me a pig for Christmas so it can eventually be slaughtered shall I keep going?" I listed off some of the things he had done

"But you're a vegan and he threw eggs at you!" was his only response

"And you fed me meat! Look Finn its over" I concluded, how did I ever put up with this

"You can't do this!" he grabbed me tightly on my upper arm

"Ow Finn let go your hurting me!" I cried while trying to pull away

"You can't leave me Rachel" he told me firmly

"Let go!" I screamed, he released my arm I could already see a bruise starting to form

"I'm done with you!" I threw my engagement ring at him and ran out of the school and to my car where I was stopped by Noah and Santana

"Rach are you okay?" Noah asked me looking genially concerned

"Uh I'm fine. I just need to get out of here" I replied quickly trying to get into my car

"Did he hurt you?" Santana asked quietly with fire in her eyes

"Not really, he just held to tight… Now I really must be going" I looked down at my watch figuring if I left now I could make it back to Carmel by 7.00 pm depending on traffic

"Where it's late" Santana asked

"Yeah shouldn't you two be going home?" I once again tried to leave only to be blocked by Noah

"We're not going anywhere until you tell us where you're going so you might as well just spill" Noah sighed while leaning against my car door

"Fine" I crossed my arms and glared "I'm going to Carmel, now move please"

"What's at Carmel? You're not transferring are you? I mean I know everyone is kind to mean to you and on a few occasions I may have insulted you but don't run from the haters" Santana asked

"I'm not transferring. Look I'm going to see Jesse now can I please go?" I sighed knowing that this was my only option if I wanted to leave

"Jesse St James?" Noah asked looking shocked

"You love him don't you?" Santana asked putting together the puzzle pieces

"Yeah now I need to go tell him that and I have the perfect song" they moved out of my way

The drive to Carmel went surprisingly quick I made it there by 7.30 but I knew that they would still be there, Vocal Adrenaline practiced hard much harder than us. I entered the auditorium and quietly made my way to the side wing of the stage and waited until the students left the stage for a quick break. Once they had left I knew it was my cue, I plugged my iPod into the speaker system.

I entered as the opening chords began to play, the VA kids looked curiously at the stage all wondering who the intruder was.

_Guess this means you're sorry  
You're standing at my door  
Guess this means you take back  
What you said before  
Like how much you wanted anyone but me  
Said you'd never come back  
But here you are again – __**I was now centre stage **_

**During the first verse I was thinking of when he came back last year after he left me for another national champion.** __

'Cause we belong together now, yeah _**– Some of the VA members came up and danced backup for me**__  
Forever united here somehow, yeah  
You got a piece of me and honestly  
My life would suck without you_

_Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye - _**I was definitely stupid for telling him goodbye**

_Maybe I was wrong for trying to pick a fight  
I know that I've got issues  
But you're pretty messed up too__** – I could see him smiling we both had the same issue and that was our egos and knowledge of how we are better than everyone**__  
Either way I found out I'm nothing without you –__** I needed Jesse with him I was still focussed on my career**___

'Cause we belong together now, yeah

Forever united here somehow, yeah  
You got a piece of me and honestly  
My life would suck without you

Being with you is so dysfunctional  
I really shouldn't miss you _**– It's Finn I should be with**__  
But I can't let you go  
Oh yeah_

Lalalalala...

'Cause we belong together now, yeah yeah  
Forever united here somehow, yeah  
You got a piece of me and honestly  
My life would suck without you

_**I began making my way over to where Jesse was sitting with a small smile playing on his lips**___

'Cause we belong together now, yeah  
Forever united here somehow, yeah  
You got a piece of me and honestly  
My life would suck without you_**- I was now at the desk and sung this line directly to him**_

"Jesse I've missed you and honestly my life would suck without you" I quoted from the song

"I got that from the song" he wrapped his arms around my hips pulling me down to sit comfortably on his lap, I snaked my arms around his neck before he continued "Don't you think the first verse was a little off I mean you are the one who came back to me"

"No I was thinking back to when you came back for me" I said smiling our heads had gotten closer together

"Well I guess I did and now you're here for me do you think I should take you back?" he breathed, his hot breath tickled my lips

"I think you should take me back" I whispered, he answered by closing the gap between our mouths.

"Don't worry Rachel we will be going to New York at the end of the year" he said smiling once we broke away

"Thank you" I shifted myself to get comfortable

"Miss Rachel Berry, future Broadway legend, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Of course I will Jesse St. James" I rested my head upon his chest and prepared to get comfortable for the night since I didn't want to leave to find out it was all a dream, a thought suddenly occurred to me "Can I stay?" I asked quietly

"Won't your dads be worried?" he asked instead of answering

"No they're out of town"

"Then yeah you can stay" he said before addressing his students the rehearsal went for a long time by 9 pm I was fast asleep occasionally I could feel Jesse stroking my hair as he watched them rehearse.

"Rachel, Rachel, wake up" he shook me gently

"Where am I?" I asked groggily

"Carmel high, rehearsals over so it's time to go home"

"Mmm okay" I mumbled and curled further into his chest

"Let's go" he sighed helping me up and to his car

"I drove here" I stated and tried to walk to my own car

"And you're not driving home, I'll take you to school tomorrow and in the afternoon you can get your car" he informed me, I pouted and reluctantly got into the passenger seat of his car.

As promised the next morning Jesse arrived promptly to take me to school.

"Morning" I greeted cheerfully

"Good morning" he replied giving me a peck on the lips, he dropped me off at the front of the school causing a few of the gleeks who were outside to stare, these range rovers were VA's signature car not to mention the number plate that had Vocal Adrenaline on it. I could see that they were all wondering what someone from VA was doing at McKinley after all we hadn't heard much of them for a while. I got out of the car and headed towards the entrance I saw the shocked looks on all their faces especially when Jesse joined me.

"You don't have to walk me in" I told him

"I need to talk with Schuester anyway" he shrugged draping his arm over my shoulder. I didn't miss the smirk on his face when we passed Finn. Jesse had decided to meet up with Mr. Schue during first period when we had glee. We walked into the choir room hand in hand like we had done many times before.

"What's he doing here?" Mercedes the question that everyone was thinking

"Meeting with Schue" Jesse replied coolly

"Why are you holding my fiancé hand?" Finn asked causing four people in the room to roll their eyes

"Finn I'm not your fiancé, or girlfriend do you see this mark you made it" I declared to the choir room, I was right my arm had bruised.

"He what?" Jesse cried outraged

"Nothing" I mumbled, I didn't want to cause a scene. Mr Schue chose the right moment to enter the room

"Jesse what are you doing here?" he asked eyeing us suspiciously

"I came to meet with you and see if we could set up a meeting between our teams like a mini competition to get the competitive juices flowing" Jesse explained

"Uh sure we can talk about it after the lesson, since we aren't doing anything competition related you can sit in" Mr Schue informed him. Jesse took his old seat next to me at the front, Santana and Noah sat in the front with us.

"Guess you got what you wanted" Santana whispered in my ear

"Yeah I did" I smiled back at her

As promised at the end of the year we were off to New York, I had been accepted into NYADA and Jesse had scored a small role in an off-Broadway show that would start rehearsal around the same time as the school semester would start. Santana was also in the big city studying law at NYU, she was living with Brittany who was now officially her girlfriend, and Britt had been accepted into Juilliard. Noah had decided against California and wound up attending Tisch and was hoping to become a recording artist. As for Finn he never left Lima just as Jesse had predicted after a while he got over our break up but we never talked much after that. New Directions had won nationals that year and even though Jesse's team lost he was happy for me, he never really liked his student. I couldn't wait until the plane landed in New York finally I could start my real life as a Broadway legend, well not quite yet but now I was closer.

**AN: Please review I need review to live**


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